Kathy’s Eulogy

For those who know me, relax there will be no power point. I’m going to start this off by briefly talking about a woman named Claire Wineland. Claire battled cystic fibrosis her whole life, only to lose her life to a blood clot at the age of 21. She was an activist advocating for others with cystic fibrosis. When she was 13, she had started her own foundation, “Claire’s Place”. She was an author, and a philanthropist. She was a social media sensation and a TEDx speaker. She once said, “Death is inevitable. Living a life, we can be proud of is something we can control.” I thought Claire’s story was important to share and I hope I can parallel it with my story of Katheryn Lutes Behrman. We all think we’ll have enough time to do the things we’d like to do. However, God is our timekeeper. And when he decides that you succeeded in the mission you were sent here for, you get to go home to him. Kathy’s life did not mirror Claire’s life, but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, she made an impact on many people at the Hillman Cancer Center. She would brush us off if we were to call her a rockstar. But she indeed was. She enjoyed the people she worked with. She enjoyed mentoring new nurses. She was an advocate for the patients she helped treat. She spent time making phone calls to battle those who have little idea of what a cancer patient goes through, but yet gets to make decisions on what medications or treatments they receive. She checked on other clinics to see if they needed help. She had been the go-to for tough i.v.’s. She would pitch in where needed and always kept her office clean and organized. I dare say that every physician Kathy ever worked with benefitted from her work ethic, her knowledge, wisdom, care, and empathy she had for others. But more importantly, their patients benefitted. There are many times I recall that Kath would bring goodies home from a patient she helped and as you can see, I benefitted from those times as well. And unless something miraculous occurs, nurses like Kathy, will no longer be. You see, now, it’s more about the time spent checking the boxes, to make sure that all billables are accounted for and not about spending time with your patients. She made time for both. She educated her patients. She would take calls at home on occasion, and just make those patients a priority and whether in person or on the phone, she made them comfortable. She showed compassion. She displayed kindness. She worked to be a good example of great nursing and she did just that! She showed the patients in her care that they were human and not just a number or interruption in the workday. Don’t misunderstand me. There are other great healthcare providers out there. Indeed, there are. Kathy had many compassionate and passionate ones taking care of her. Some of them worked diligently, smartly, and swiftly in an effort to help Kathy get better. And towards the end, some of them took great care to keep her comfortable and pain free on her journey from this world. And we are truly appreciative of them all. Kathy was a great organizer, whether at the office or at home. One of her lines was “get ready for the next day, the night before.” She became a volunteer associate member of the Aspinwall Fire Department. She had a great organizational mind and helped with flea markets, pancake breakfasts, and helped prepare food for some of our Sunday training years ago and Tuesday meeting nights. She was a great co-pilot and navigator on the trips we took. She didn’t drive one mile, but she sure could tell you the way to go. We would sing along to the radio whenever we would take driving trips and she had a special way of pointing out the farm animals along the way. (I’ll leave that to your own imagination.) And always, always she would think about me and others before she thought of herself. You know, I last stood here when David and Ashley’s dad died. I can recall speaking of him as being a fan of Emeril and he himself being in the kitchen trying new things and new recipes. But I can also tell you that Kathy did not give up her kitchen willingly. She always had a hand in what was being made and like Radar on MASH, she would tell you where something was in the kitchen before you needed it. She has every kitchen gadget known to man and if me and the kids were so inclined, we would have a great inventory to open a store with. Kathy was an advocate for good parenting. One of the best gifts we receive as a parent is watching our children develop the traits we left to them, by virtue of simply being their parents. All that we can do is nurture them as they grow on the good traits and counsel them on the not so good ones, and hope and pray for a good outcome. As a parent, watching our children grow is a very amazing, exciting, educational, emotional, and rewarding experience. It’s an experience that always includes love. I’ve watched David and Ashley grow as people of this world. They are fine examples of children, siblings, and adults. Each of them can be seen with the wonderful traits that come from Kathy and Dave. Kathy and I would talk about them as we did about my children. Be proud you two. Your mom and dad were proud of you. I’m proud of you and I love you both. And as long as I’m around, I’ll be here for you. Kathy lived a life she was proud of, and she made the best of it. She became a cancer nurse as Dave battled bladder cancer. She took care of him, saw how he passed and still wanted to do more for cancer patients. She battled cancer in 2014 and in 2017. A stronger woman I do not know. I can say that because being a cancer nurse herself, she knew exactly what was coming at her. The cancer returned in 2021. She knew what was facing her and she faced it with strength, compassion, dignity, grace, and love. May we all be able to do just that. Toots, you were an angel to me and many here on Earth. Your work here is over. Relax and rest now with the rest of the angels in heaven. I love you!